The Mute and the Liar Page 10

  PLEASE STOP!

  “Ryo’s not my friend. Hell, the guy picked on me for eight years and then randomly decided we’re best friends forever. You know that guy Jeffrey? I used to be him. I used to be all posh and clever and rich and an easy victim for all bullies. I got kicked out of my home last year and lost all of that, but at least it meant I lost all the bullies that came with it.”

  STOP! JUST STOP!

  “And you are the most incredible person I’ve ever met.”

  *****

  6:10 PM

  Wordlessly, we head back to the Victoria Art Gallery to meet up with Kit and Nick and go back to Kit’s house. It has been quiet since Jayce said that in the café. He filled the silence with singing Karma Chameleon by Culture Club. Now that stupid song is stuck in my head. Great.

  I don’t know what he is playing at. I don’t know why he would say that about me. He’s probably scared I’m catching up with him. Slowly, but surely, I am speeding up, running faster, pulling towards him as he races in front of me. He’s probably worried, and has resulted in making me feel uncomfortable to throw me off his scent, to flatter me enough so I think I am safe. Perhaps just to confuse me even more, so it will truly be impossible for me to guess what he is thinking.

  The problem is, I think it’s working. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met. That jolted something inside of me. I’ve never been complimented. I have never been told I’m anything more than a nuisance. Hearing him say that… It sent chills in my chest.

  Eventually Nick and Kit arrive with about a hundred shopping bags hanging off their arms.

  “What did you get?”

  “Well there were so many pots of paints and I couldn’t decide between the azure or the brandeis blue-”

  “Which are exactly the same, by the way,” cuts in an obviously irritated Nick.

  “So we just got both of them.” Oh yeah, I forgot that Kit is rich. How lovely it must be when your greatest problem is choosing between colours of paint, which can be easily solved with a snap of your purse. “And then we just did the food shopping and I got plenty of pasta for Alicia.” Hmm. She got me pasta. Okay then, I forgive her for being rich.

  Jayce takes some of the shopping bags from Kit, and I do the same out of politeness. We start to head back to Nick’s car.

  Unexpectedly, Jayce stops. I stop too, confused about what he is doing. He is staring at something in the distance. I follow his line of eyesight. He’s not staring at a ‘something.’ He’s staring at a someone. More specifically, he’s staring at a woman dressed in a black dress with her blonde hair scraped into a bun piled on the top of her head and her expressionless, almost perfect, Barbie-doll face the giveaway of years of plastic surgery and religious worshipping of cosmetics.

  “Oh no,” he breathes and suddenly dashes to the right, pushing himself against the wall of a shop in an attempt to hide from her.

  Nick gasps as he sees her too. She draws nearer, notices them and breaks into a smile as she recognises them.

  “Nick? Kit? What a surprise! It’s great to see you! How are you?” she has a pinching voice; it’s more like squawking than speaking.

  “Auntie Lauren! We didn’t expect to see you here either. We’re all fine, yeah.”

  Auntie Lauren?

  “Goodness it’s been so long! You have grown. I haven’t spoken to Theresa in months. Is she alright?”

  “Yeah, mum’s okay. She started her new job.”

  “Oh yes, I was meaning to speak to her about that. And Kit! How are you? How’s your mother?”

  “Fine, fine. Everything is fine. Actually, she was asking about you the other day.”

  “Was she? I will definitely call her as soon as I can,” she lowers a voice and leans in. “And… Is Jayce here? How… How is he?”

  Her name is Lauren... Could this be Lauren Janice Cobalt? The woman Jayce is trying to get Father to kill?

  “Yeah, he’s okay. He’s still in Elmview.”

  Nick called her 'auntie.' Does that... Does that mean she is Jayce's mother?

  He’s trying to kill his mother?

  That’s psychotic. That just pushes any boundaries of sanity. I don’t even know how insane he must be to even think about doing this. I have to get away from him.

  Actually, this is probably the perfect time to try and run anyway. Nick and Kit have turned their backs on me to talk to her, and Jayce is a quite a distance away from me, still huddled by that wall. If I get away now no one will be able to stop me. I could just turn around right now and head back to the city centre. I could get help. I could be free!

  That’s it. It’s got to be now. This is the first real chance I have had. I’ve got to grab it before Jayce takes it away from me again.

  Go. Go!

  I drop the bags, twist around and hurtle as fast as I can right back to the centre. I slam past so many people, all of them heading the other way, as though I am swimming against a current. The thick crowds try to force their way past me, but all I can think of is that freedom is right ahead. It’s there, in plain sight, so close I can almost taste it. I’m nearly free! Even when my feet begin aching and a stitch stabs me in the side, I urge myself to keep going, to keep running.

  Just when I am stupid enough to believe in freedom, I hear his familiar voice shouting my name. The voice sends icy needles dancing over my neck and a mad pounding in my chest. Jayce. I can’t tell how far away he is and I’m too scared to turn around and see. I have to get away from him!

  Run! Run!

  The Abbey is just ahead. There was a phone box nearby, and when we were walking around here I saw one of the signs mentioned the police station up ahead. So I just need to get past the Abbey. That’s my best hope right now.

  Two figures are leaving the Abbey. I think they’re locking it up for the day. One of them walks away in the other direction, the other notices me and just stands there, watching me. I must be putting on a very entertaining show. Great. I'm glad my fear is amusing people. He is tall and blonde and has a straight, rigid posture, like a human cardboard-cut out. As I get closer, I realize it's Jeffrey, the posh-voiced boy we met earlier.

  I look behind me. Jayce is not far behind me, pushing through a string of people, getting closer and closer every second.

  “Alicia?” I panic for a moment and all my breathing seems to cut off momentarily. That voice sounded so close to me - has Jayce's caught up with me already? I look left and see it is Jeffrey, who is still watching me. I let out a relieved breath. Thank God. Clearly I must look terrified, because his facial expression changes the moment he looks at me. “What’s… What’s going on?”

  I turn around once more, to see Jayce forcing his way through the thick crowds. I feel my heart speeding up even more - he is right behind me. He looks directly at me, a murderous look curdling his face.

  “What is he doing? Is he trying to hurt you?”

  I look at Jeffrey pleadingly, but inside I hate myself for doing that - I feel so pathetic. Why do I always need to be saved by someone else? Why can’t I save myself? I'm supposed to be a detective. And I hate damsel-in-distress characters in books. Now it looks like I've turned into one.

  In that one moment something fierce flits into Jeffrey's blue eyes and he puts his arm around me and pulls me into him. He starts running, pulling my along. Realising he is trying to help me, I start running too, still holding onto him. He leads me to the church and lets go of me only for a moment to unlock the door, then grabs my hand and we run in, racing up the aisles and up the stairs to the altar.

  “He’s not going to hurt you in the church. We’ll stay here until we can leave and get help.”

  He sounds so confident I almost believe him. But that’s when Jayce slams through the doors, panting heavily, dragging in the air around him as though it is cigarette smoke. And his eyes have turned horrific. They’ve been glazed over with black, unfeeling glass and the artificial lights that reflect in them in silver studs simply sink into them. They’re cons
uming all light, all hope.

  “Sanctuary!” Jeffrey calls.

  “You can’t claim sanctuary!” he scoffs in derision. “This isn’t the Hunchback of Notre Dam! Alicia. Come here. Right now.”

  “I don’t know what is happening, but you need to leave,” Jeffrey says it with convincing confidence, but I catch a faltering note near the end.

  There’s a heavy, drowning feeling in my stomach. Why can’t I just save myself? Jeffrey’s genuinely trying to help me, something I’m certainly not used to. I hate myself. Not only am I so weak, but I’ve brought Jeffrey into this now as well.

  In an out-of tune singsong voice, Jayce chimes: “Alicia. I’m waiting.”

  “Can’t you see she doesn’t want to go with you? You need to leave right now. I’m calling the police.”

  This stirs something in Jayce, who clenches his fists and twists away from me to face Jeffrey.

  “You don’t know anything! Who the Hell are you, anyway? You don’t know anything, and you definitely don’t understand anything! She doesn’t even understand, so how are you supposed to?”

  He charges up the aisle and stops in front of the stairs leading to the altar, so now the flight of stairs is the only thing separating us. The stained glass window behind us casts him in a kaleidoscope of shadows, illuminating every blemish on his pale, ghostly skin and the dark blue bags under his cold green eyes. The colours bleed into each other, making his skin appear harshly stretched out over his bones, translucent and skeletal. He just stands there getting his breath back. His gaze is steady and unrevealing, but I can almost hear his mind ticking away, a bomb preparing to explode.

  He is a riddle. I don’t think I’ll ever know what he's thinking; his face is unreadable and his words are lies.

  What was it he told me a few of hours ago?

  Oh yes. That there are three things I should never do. What were they again? At the time, I thought it was a peculiar yet intriguing thing to say. I’ve completely forgotten. There was definitely something about challenging someone. Or was it catching someone? Hmm.

  “Alicia, I will destroy everyone you have ever known if you don’t come here right now,” he’s seething this through a mouth of clenched teeth and spewed saliva. In retaliation, Jeffrey tightens his grip around my shoulders. Jayce loses it and lets out a crazed shriek: “let go of her!”

  He charges up the stairs, whilst Jeffrey attempts to mirror his movements, resulting in us almost circling each other.

  “I’ll try and hold him off. When I say ‘go’ I want you to run straight to the police station, okay?” Jeffrey whispers into my ear, his hot breath ticking my cheek. Hope flutters into my chest, weightless and warm. I just want to get out of here. I just want to be free. Is that so much to ask?

  Wait, I’ve just remembered! It’s to chase someone! That’s what it is! Number one: to chase a limping man.

  “Alicia, please. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Come with me.” What was the second one? Something about a falling man, definitely.

  “Alicia! Look at me!” he demands, reaching out to grasp my shoulders. Jeffrey grabs his hands before they do, and they struggle for a few seconds, nearly slamming into the altar behind us. It seems they are equally matched in strength.

  What is his problem? I am trying to remember something here. I glance at him only to give him an irritated look. I wish he would stop talking. He is making it so hard for me to remember.

  “Alicia,” he croaks, watching me. Something of desperation flits into his eyes and stakes his voice. He sounds pathetic. Doesn’t he know that desperation is weakness? “You’re mine. You’re mine, okay? Do you hear me?”

  “Go!” Jeffrey yells out to me, and I remember I am supposed to be running. Jayce takes advantage of Jeffrey’s distraction and punches him, his hand leaving Jeffrey’s nose with a trail of blood.

  “She is mine!” he roars, lunging out again and striking him once more.

  “She is not yours! He will never be yours!”

  Jeffrey regains his balance and pushes Jayce off him, throwing him straight into the altar, where he crashes against it, breaking through it and sending flowers and candles plummeting to their deaths. Jeffrey grabs me protectively again, keeping me safe in his arms. I let him. It’s actually comforting.

  Jayce stares at us for a moment. Then time fractures and he bursts into maniacal laughter, throwing his head back and roaring, every shriek the sound of a knife chalking against a rock. When he finally stops, he begins speaking again, this time quietly, almost above a whisper. It’s somehow even more chilling than when he was screaming.

  “I’d rather kill her than let her be yours,” he chokes out, pulling himself to his feet even though his body is all shaking. His hair looks slightly red. It must be because of the glass window again. No, wait. Actually, I think… I think it is blood.

  The cross is lying right behind him. Maybe it pierced his skull on his fall. “Let… go… of… her!”

  Jayce lunges out, and I don’t realise it at first, but his bony fingers are clasped around a brass candelabrum. It all happens so fast.

  *****

  Seconds clash into each other. It’s hard to tell what happened first and what’s happening right now. Cause and effect have melted away. Fatalism has murdered free will, so we are locked in this world where there is no connection between causes and effects. There is no causality continuum. We are left only with patterns. Things that only happen because fate decided they do. We are left to sleepwalk through these patterns, not sure of what will happen, but sure that something will.

  First Jeffrey was bleeding. Did that happen? No actually, something is telling me that did happen, but it didn’t happen first. Either way, it happened at some point. Jayce was standing over his body with the candelabrum hanging by his side. Oh. I see. That means that something else came before the blood seeping out of Jeffrey’s scalp. Oh yes. I understand now.

  Jeffrey was falling.

  We were standing on the stairs, so high up from the ground. And all of a sudden, he dropped backwards like a knife, plummeting down the stairs as if they were the side of a cliff face. It was rather beautiful, actually. Falling is always beautiful. Falling asleep. Falling in love. Falling apart.

  Falling! I remember now! That’s the second bit of advice!

  Number two: to lean on a falling man.

  The candelabrum was falling too. It fell out of Jayce’s hands and clattered to the ground.

  That’s when Jayce was running. He plummeted beside Jeffrey. His eyes looked all red and inflamed, ballooned even. He started screaming, although that might have just been the blood resounding in my ears. Jayce was shaking him and kept repeating something.

  Wake up.

  Yes. That’s what he was saying. He kept saying that and one other word.

  Sorry.

  I think I collapsed Jeffrey too. I thought Jayce was crying, but maybe I just confused my own tears for his. Because I know I was crying too.

  “Look what you made me do! This is all your fault! This is all your fault!”

  The only other thing I know for certain is that Jayce grabbed hold of my shoulders and began shaking me, hoping to hurt me, hoping to make me break. Hoping to force me into a confession, to reassure him everything happened because of me. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault.

  He kept shaking me, his fingers tightening their grip and digging in deep.

  I didn't fight it. I let him do it. I welcomed that feeling. I embraced it. I pretended it was helping me to stop thinking, to stop feeling.

  I pretended it was helping me forget everything.

  I felt dead. It was a blunt, chilling feeling that rattled over my bones, leaving me numb all over. It made my mouth hang open in some strange primal method of communication, my head roll backwards and my eyes flutter closed, but not without first flashing the whites of my eyes.

  It was only when he suddenly shook me even harder that I finally snapped back into my senses. I let my hands instinct
ively shoot out and push him away. He immediately let go and even moved a little away from me.

  That's when I noticed his eyes. They were back to normal - something had washed out the metallic blackness in them. In fact, his whole face had softened.

  And within seconds, his arms were around me. I froze and held my breath, feeling my pulse begin racing again. Run away, whispered every bone in my body. Run away now. But I couldn't find the ability to move.

  “I need you to come with me.” His voice was back to Jayce's now: calm and steady. “You don’t understand anything. There are so many things you don’t know, and so many things you need to understand. Just come with me. Please. I… I need you. Trust me.”

  Trust me.

  That’s it. I remember Jayce's last bit of advice.

  Number three: to trust a lying man.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Time was travelling syrup-slow. Every minute was a decade. We just sat there - me crying, Jayce caught somewhere in between crying and screaming. After what felt like years in that broken time loop, Jayce clasped my hand and pulled me up, his mouth settled into a suppressed, unrevealing line.

  I couldn’t bring myself to leave Jeffrey. But we needed to. People could walk in at any moment. They would see what Jayce had done. What I had let him do. I should have stopped him. Should have done something.

  It flickered across my mind that I could have used that moment to try and run away again, but that would have led to questions, and then I would have had to tell people everything. About how all of this happened because of me. Jeffrey tried to help me. If I had never run past him today, this wouldn't have happened. I didn't even try to stop Jayce. Just stood there, watching it all happen. Just let him do it. I might as well have killed him myself.

  So I let Jayce pull me up. I let him lead me out of the door. I stumble slightly, feeling dizzy and nauseous, and find myself holding onto him even tighter.